Comments on OBESITY PANACEA: 10 Most Annoying Gym Personalities: Tips on Proper...

Peter, what a great list. I work out in an apartme...

2011-09-26T00:28:21.142-04:00

Peter, what a great list. I work out in an apartment building complex and the other day I twice politely told an "American Idol" to pipe down. She didn't, so I went upstairs and got management. When the manager arrived, the Idol dared to tell me that I "told on her." Believe me, bad behavior in my gym runs rampant. What about one guy who works out in pink Crocs, another who runs the treadmill in bare feet and worst of all...a woman who would routinely bring in her baby stroller with her infant in tow!

I have another one, the once-a-weekers. These are ...

2010-07-26T05:40:43.772-04:00

I have another one, the once-a-weekers. These are the people (without being sexist, usually women) that come to the gym once a week, dressed in brand new top of the range clothing with an ipod strapped to their arms. They flood the gym every Monday morning/evening, forcing the the 10 members that regularly go to the gym to avoid it like a plague that day. However, as determined as they seem they never seem to sweat, but manage to create the illusion they've done some serious work and they'll be damned if anyones going to get in their way.

One more personality to add, these are the people who clearly feel they're not welcome in the free weights area so confine themselves to the weight machines. AS well as the fact that, hey, they're the only seats in the house. So they're happy to sit on the machines (surprisingly often on the machines theres only one of) for as long as they stay, occasionally doing a couple of reps with poor form at the lowest weight the machine has. Usually middle aged- pensioner men (again sorry for the sexism) possibly signed up by wives. You can also feel them laughing to themselves as you come past, doing 10 reps on a machine on a heavy weight for 20 seconds. Rightly so, they've clearly been on the machine for longer and which get greater benefit.

Out of these two, I cant decide which one annoys me more. Probably the once-a-weekers, because hatred annoys me more than sneering.

Make way for the King! Those that use 3 machines a...

2010-03-23T13:44:10.931-04:00

Make way for the King!
Those that use 3 machines at once and think they own the gym.

"Unless asked for advice, please keep it to y...

2010-02-01T12:40:49.035-05:00

"Unless asked for advice, please keep it to yourself."

There's one instance where the "uninvited expert" is a good thing... when you see someone doing something that will obviously end up in injury...

Maybe I'm making an excuse for myself, but I saw a girl doing lunges while holding a weight... okay, no big deal there.

The problem was she was letting her knee slam into the ground every time. I'm not sure if she just had really bad form, or couldn't do the lunges with the weight she was holding, but I couldn't stop myself. I had to tell her to stop that before she shattered her knee cap.

Here's another one that I get at the gym I go ...

2010-02-01T12:34:43.097-05:00

Here's another one that I get at the gym I go to: the Mimic.

The mimic is also a combination Kanye West and Slammer. He (I've never see a female do this) will get onto a machine right after someone else has left and they don't change the weight pin. They then proceed to do as many reps as quickly as possible, I think in an attempt to show how strong they are as compared to the person that just left the machine or something. (I never really figured it out.)

Anyways, this person is usually a slammer because they fling up the weights and drop them in their attempt to do the reps quickly causing weight clanking.

The one I saw was also an uninvited expert trying to give me advice while pulling a Kanye West.

So crack open a budd light, Mr. Mimic Man... You really showed everyone how strong you are by lifting the same weight that the 90 lbs girl just lifted.

"Unless asked for advice, please keep it to y...

2010-01-30T08:00:47.012-05:00

"Unless asked for advice, please keep it to yourself."

That's great advice everywhere, not just in the gym.

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Backstage ass kills me. If this occured in the lad...

2010-01-28T20:36:38.618-05:00

Backstage ass kills me. If this occured in the ladies room I might pee myself laughing. I also enjoyed the screamer. It really can be off-putting and quite nerve racking to all gym goers as they await the landing of the "screamer's" pterodactyle mate.

@ Samantha Angela - Yup, the Backstage Ass is a ra...

2010-01-28T15:15:34.576-05:00

@ Samantha Angela - Yup, the Backstage Ass is a rare but real species. I actually saw one early this week and made a note to myself to include them on the list.

I am surprised at how many of you have encountered people talking on their cell phones while at the gym. I must admit, despite being a regular exerciser, I have only witnessed this once. Thanks for commenting.

@scicurious - Yes, the Owl is a popular species. Sort of like a Rico Suave, but without the gumption to actually approach the female in question.

One that I forgot to mention (that I just encountered today) is the Lazy Susan - most often found on a recumbent bike - just barely pedalling, reading a book, and on the verge of sleep. The Lazy Susan requires a hot shower post exercise to warm up.

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the...

2010-01-28T13:00:15.220-05:00

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the idea of the Backstage Ass. That ACTUALLY HAPPENS?? I can guarantee that is found only in the men's locker room.

I think the most annoying, that you neglected to mention, is Cellphone users. This is a gym, not a telephone booth. Lifting your cellphone to your ear does not count as a bicep curl, so don't do it while sitting on the preacher chair that I'm waiting for.

Kate Porter, YES! Peter, I love the list...I hate ...

2010-01-28T11:29:01.984-05:00

Kate Porter, YES! Peter, I love the list...I hate the grunters, too! They are so distracting. I hate those people who shout (because the noise from the cardio machines calls for it) over you when you are on a machine in between them. I find it so rude! People who talk on cellphones (which you are not supposed to do, anyway) while on the treadmill are annoying too.

I've got two!!! Perhaps this one's an add...

2010-01-28T11:08:05.500-05:00

I've got two!!!

Perhaps this one's an addition to the Perez Hilton: the cell phone talker (I'm not good with creative names). I do NOT want to hear about your personal problems or your friend's personal problems when I am on the treadmill next to you. Neither do I want to hear all about your big business deal, dude, though I'm sure it makes you feel big and bad. Hang up and work out, honey.

The second one: I call them the Owls, because that's about how big their eyes get when I enter a room. Yes. It's a girl. She's working out. She might be extremely sweaty. But STARING continuously as I do my weights or get in a run or do my stretches is NOT WELCOME. These guys have forced me to the women only workout rooms on several occasions through sheer awkwardness.

Ok, I've been known to whistle or mouth a few ...

2010-01-28T01:52:43.977-05:00

Ok, I've been known to whistle or mouth a few words to the gym music between sets doing weights and in a good mood... (and noone's around!)... but I had trouble believing the "American Idol" (singing out loud to their own ipod?!) actually existed... until I witnessed it today! On a cardio machine, people all around her, woman just singing away to her ipod... WOW how annoying!

@ ERV - thought of your line tonight as I was unloading 10 extra plates from the leg press, knowing exactly who'd left them there but he'd already left... can't wait to let him know "I ain't his mama" next time I see the guy, grrrr!

Ha! I admit I totally sing along with the gym musi...

2010-01-27T22:50:20.774-05:00

Ha! I admit I totally sing along with the gym music between sets (softly! -- if I'm capable of singing loud I should be doing my next set).

There is a species you may not have noticed as a guy, the Fashion Critic. She's anxious to let you know that your hair, outfit, and make-up aren't up to snuff in her opinion (although of course she will prefer to do this by making loud commentary *near* you rather than speaking to you directly). The rise of iPods has been a great loss for this species.

Somewhere in the territory between the Uninvited Expert and the Fashion Critic is the Sneering "Expert". The SE is anxious to let you know -- again probably without direct conversation -- that he or she doesn't approve of your workout and/or your body. The SE is frequently a newer convert to some iconoclastic regime (e.g. CrossFit)...although there is also a female variety who feels her fellow females need to know that she doesn't think it's very attractive to look like you're exerting yourself.

Thanks to all our female readers for providing a m...

2010-01-27T22:15:46.837-05:00

Thanks to all our female readers for providing a more balanced discussion to my rather male-centric post.

@Jenny and @Erin - I learned something new. Thanks for sharing!

@ Kate Porter - Yes I know these folks. The name "Screamer" is not ideal, but I wasted all my creative juices on the other personality names.

@ERV - that is awesome! I love that you chase the guys down and make them put away their weights - that is pretty gutsy. Just make sure you're not dealing with a Benoit - they do not take kindly to criticism!

@Erin - On the topic of locker rooms I'd also ...

2010-01-27T21:33:39.185-05:00

@Erin - On the topic of locker rooms I'd also like to add ladies that strip, leave their stuff all over the bench, then proceed to write emails on their Blackberries for five minutes. AND those ladies that stand around topless/bottomless in front of the mirror for 15 minutes. Not only do I have to wait around because they're hogging the only working blowdryer, but I have to wait around and try not to look at their...bits.

I'm all for being comfortable with your body, but hanging around naked in a public place for 20 minutes just seems weird to me.

A few thoughts (Ill probably make a post along the...

2010-01-27T17:45:09.342-05:00

A few thoughts (Ill probably make a post along these lines myself!)

1-- I dont mind getting asked out at the gym, per se. I work out at the same times on the same days, and I get to be 'friends' with the folks I see regularly. So if one of those 'regulars' asks me out, thats fine :) No different to me than someone I see in class 3 days a week, or something like that!

2-- There are The Screamers and there are The Slammers. The second a girl enters the weight room, both these guys rev it up. Slamming down a dead-lift is one thing (youre strong enough to pick it up, youre strong enough to put it down reasonably, jerk) but I LOVE the guys who are just using 30 lb dumbbells or doing cable rows 'slamming' the weights around. For Petes sake...

3-- The jerks who put >9000 lbs on the squat bar (shrugs, not squats), and leaves it. My workout is not putting your weights away! Im notorious for going after the guys who do that.
me: "Excuse me *smile* Are you done with the power rack?"
them: "huhum, yeah"
me: "Well I aint your mama. Clean up after yourself! *points to the weights left on the bar*"
them: "oh, um, sorry"

Yes, I can take them off myself, but there are lots of older folks who workout at my gym who use the weight equipment too. It makes me so mad.

I would add a subspecies to the Screamers: The Ina...

2010-01-27T15:28:27.202-05:00

I would add a subspecies to the Screamers: The Inappropriate-Noise Makers. These are the people who feel it necessary to perform Lamaze while running, elliptical-ing, or doing other cardio work. I accept that weight lifting occasionally necessitates a quick exhalation or gasp, but is it really necessary to do the whistling-pursed-lip exhalation with every step?

I also get irritated with the people who carry on long, loud, annoying conversations across five cardio machines. If you want to discuss your personal life, do it in the locker room. Or, at least, get on adjacent treadmills, and keep your voices down!

From a female gym goer's perspective, there ar...

2010-01-27T14:51:11.201-05:00

From a female gym goer's perspective, there are also the women who have their stuff spread all over in the changeroom and give you a look if you ask if you can squeeze to your locker. Or the women who clearly feel superior as they size you up when you make your valiant first attempt in a new class such as step. I wish everyone could remember that gyms are improving health and be more supportive of each other and respectful of the shared space.

@ Kat - thanks for the addition of "dance mov...

2010-01-27T13:35:36.584-05:00

@ Kat - thanks for the addition of "dance move perfection"to The Kanye West character.

Also, your point regarding gym attire is well taken. You are absolutely right - it is better that people dressed inappropriately are active versus not being active at all. Then again, I still think abiding by a few cardinal rules is probably a good call - like wearing underwear:)

Ha, that's awesome. At my gym there's a &...

2010-01-27T13:03:47.093-05:00

Ha, that's awesome. At my gym there's a "Kanye West" who adds perfecting his smile and dance steps to the rest of the farce in front of the mirror - seriously it's like he doesn't realize there are other people around and they're all trying not to choke with laughter at him.

Your gym attire post though, although mostly true and hilarious, you have to be careful to not impose the idea that a certain type of clothing is mandatory for physical activity (and otherwise you're not welcome to participate). At my gym there is an older gentleman who comes in every day and changes into short sleeve button down shirt, dress-cargo shorts, with leather belt, and older leather "dress shoes"... totally inappropriate and looks silly... but you know what, this guy is coming in every day and using the treadmill or stepper for an hr and I respect him for that. Another 50-ish guy comes in every night in jeans and a sweatshirt to do weights... again, somewhat inappropriate... but I see him working hard (he's super strong) keeping to himself every night... better than staying home on the couch just because he doesn't own a pair of athletic pants... and to me he's miles above the "tight white tank top flexing in the mirror look at me!" type of guy! Workboots... hmm, well they do provide a harder/more stable platform (as some would recommend) than running shoes for doing really heavy weights? And the girl in sports bra, jeans, and visible thong... umm... she forgot her gym clothes, best friend had an extra sports bra, and she decided to go with it and ignore the smirks rather than missing her workout?... well ok, maybe that's giving her too much benefit of the doubt!

@ Kailtyn - Thanks for the comment. Great idea re ...

2010-01-27T12:49:35.049-05:00

@ Kailtyn - Thanks for the comment. Great idea re the Jersey Shore Men! Alas, I fear that I may offend all those in New Jersey, and with all that roid rage they may hunt me down and beat me with a crow bar. Thank goodness for the relatively low traffic to our blog! ;)

Peter, this is fantastic! I couldn't agree mor...

2010-01-27T12:09:27.757-05:00

Peter, this is fantastic! I couldn't agree more with these 10 personalities. I especially like your idea of the bar star / rico common room. You could also name the Chris Benoit's as the Jersey Shore Men. This show has certainly added to the popularity of the juice monkies.