Monday, June 08, 2009
Those who have been following our blog since its inception may recall my rant on the ridiculousness that is the Slender Shaper System back in November of last year. In addition to being the very first post on this blog in which Travis and I evaluate a health and fitness gimmick, the Slender Shaper discussion has actually become our most viewed page (for a long time, if you Googled ‘Slender Shaper’ we were the second link listed, just below the website of the manufacturer of Slender Shaper, Interwood). I’d like to think that we may have ‘saved’ at least a few individuals from wasting their money on this gimmick.
Late last week I stumbled across a program on the Shopping Channel – “Let’s Get Fit Hour” hosted by Orlena Cain, with special guest – health and fitness ‘expert’, Jeannie Daniels. And imagine my joy when I saw these esteemed experts peddling the revolutionary technology of the Slender Shaper System. While the original infomercial for the Slender Shaper was absolutely moronic (as I thoroughly discussed here), I dare say that the Shopping Channel’s rendition might just be the absolute pinnacle of absurdity.
Let’s start with the obvious – the product is absolutely useless, and there exists NO legitimate evidence to support its use in producing anything more than a rash. (To answer a number of questions posed via email regarding my original criticism of the Slender Shaper: No, I have not personally tried the Slender Shaper to test if it actually works. Nor have I jumped off my balcony to test whether gravity exists.)
More interesting than the product itself was the exchange between the show’s host and the Shopping Channel’s resident fitness expert, Jeannie Daniels. As I explained to Travis during an excited phone conversation: “The woman (Jeannie Daniels) opened her mouth and a whole bunch of crazy came out!”
Let us examine some of the wonderfully erroneous advice and claims provided by the obviously aloof Shopping Channel personalities.
So, you may have wondered if any peer-reviewed evidence exists to support the use of the Slender Shaper in fat loss, or muscle toning, or really any function.
According to Jeannie Daniels, plentiful research conducted by “exercise SCIENTOLOGISTS” supports the use of the Slender Shaper. Apparently, Tom Cruise and fellow followers of failed science fiction writer, L. Ron Hubbard are performing some serious scientific studies – who knew!?
I was also curious about the possible chaffing of skin induced by a vibrating belt on your skin.
Not to worry, assure us the Shopping channel experts. “If it’s red (the skin) – it’s ok!” The rash you are likely to develop from the friction of the vibrating belt is apparently a sign that it is working! It just means that the blood is being “pulled” into the area. Jeannie Daniels tells us that when using the Slender Shaper you will “feel a lot of warmth!” You will also feel a lot of warmth while rubbing your knees on the carpet – as in, rug burn. The science of FRICTION!
Also, if you are currently participating in an effective form of exercise, such as jogging, but are unable to do so on any given day – there is an easy and equivalent substitute: you guessed it - the Slender Shaper! Indeed, just plug in the Slender Shaper for “5-10 minutes” and that is “equivalent to jogging for 30 or 60 minutes!” Imagine that – lying on the couch for 5-10 minutes whilst getting a rash from the Slender Shaper is the equivalent to jogging for 60 minutes. There are no words to accurately describe how completely absurd and erroneous this assertion is.
I bet you didn’t know the following:
“When you do squats, you only work your squats.” Well put, Jeannie Daniels, certified personal trainer and fitness expert.
The funniest part of the whole debacle was the attempt by the show host to buffer some of the ‘crazy’ that came out of Jeannie’s mouth. It was like watching “The Office” – painfully awkward and yet hilarious.
Keep up the great work Shopping Channel!
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